December 2017 Newsdumpster



What Number Comes Before Umpteen?

This Newsdumpster issue began its life in a garage in New Hampshire where the Blue Meanie was being serviced for the umpteenth time this year. Don't get me wrong--we bear no grudge against our ill-tempered blue friend/camper van, but after 11 years and 266,000+ miles (428,000+ km) of hard labor, one expects the radiator, brakes, rooftop seals, solar panels, glow plugs, door locks, tailpipe, and enough hoses to create a hose shortage to require a transplant or at least cosmetic surgery. These niceties are, of course, in preparation for our 2018 Further West Tour, which begins, astonishingly, on December 1st, 2017. This also marks the first time that two Further West tours have begun in the same year. Leaving a month earlier than usual allows us to make stops along the way to Florida with less risk of getting snowed or iced in--at least that's what we're telling ourselves. After Florida, we begin heading, duh, west, making New Mexico our western terminus. This is in stark contrast to our previous Further West tour, which terminated in Washington, by way of New Zealand, United Kingdom and California. By our calculations, which are known to be unreliable, we should be back in Vermont in early April.

As mentioned in previous Newsdumpsters, since returning from our 2017 Further West Tour in July, we've been busy. Rather than spell out our activities in run-on sentences, here they are in a misleading list:

  • Houses bought: 1
  • Houses sold: 1
  • Friends we promised to have over to dinner at our great new house: 16
  • Friends we had over to dinner at our great new house: 0
  • Barns insulated: 1
  • Barns drywalled: 1
  • Heaters installed in aforelisted barn: 1
  • New recording computers purchased: 1
  • Recording software purchased: 3
  • Number of times new recording system got to be used: 0
  • 500-gallon propane tanks replaced 1
  • Bonfires: 2
  • Physical therapy sessions for Ken's sprained ankle souvenir from New Zealand: 5
  • Dumpsters rented and filled with debris: 1
  • Clothes dryers installed: 1
  • Storage lockers emptied: 1
  • Previous CDs ordered: 2,000
  • New Hungrytown T-shirts and tote bags ordered: 195
  • Cups of coffee drunk: 2,000
  • Racing stripes painted onto the Blue Meanie: 0
  • Sets of linens purchased: 10
  • Sets of nice towels purchased: 8
  • Custom curtains purchased: 2
  • Airbnb properties we managed to squeeze out of our new house: 2

Did You See What We Did There?

You may have noticed that the house portion of Hungrytown Homestead is also an Airbnb property, cleverly called Lawrence Cottage, which we are humbly offering while on tour. A couple of our excellent neighbors will manage the place, which is more than we could do. We did a test run with the upstairs loft only, and all of our guests left good reviews, despite Ken's cat impersonation.

The first photo album of this tour is understandably small--please forgive us for the next couple of days.

Part One

Our two photo albums from the five minutes we were back from our last Further West Tour:

Part One

Part Two

Tired of every other celebrity's involvement in a sex scandal? Please visit and because the only sex scandals in which we were ever involved resulted in our births.


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Saturday, December 2nd, 3:00-4:00 PM
EPFL Light Street Branch
1251 Light Street
Baltimore, MD  21230
Admission: free. Sponsored by the Enoch Pratt Free Library.

Sunday, December 3rd, 2:00-3:30 PM
Hauppauge Public Library
Community Room
601 Veterans Memorial Highway
Hauppauge, NY  11788
Admission: free. Sponsored by the Hauppauge Public Library.

Tuesday, December 5th, 6:00-7:00 PM
Fishersville Main Library
1759 Jefferson Highway
Fishersville, VA  22939
Admission: free. Sponsored by the Fishersville Main Library.

Thursday, December 7th, 6:00-7:30 PM
Raleigh Court Branch Library
2112 Grandin Rd SW
Roanoke, Virginia 24015
Admission: free. Sponsored by the Roanoke Public Library.

Saturday, December 9th, 2:00-3:00 PM
L.E. Smoot Memorial Library
9533 Kings Highway
King George, VA  22485
Admission: free. Sponsored by the L.E. Smoot Memorial Library.

Monday, December 11th, 6:30-7:30 PM
Alleghany County Public Library
115 Atwood Street
Sparta, NC  28675
Admission: free. Sponsored by the Alleghany County Public Library.

Wednesday, December 13th, 7:00-8:00 PM
Captain Kimberly Hampton Memorial Library
304 Biltmore Rd.
Easley, SC  29640
Admission: free. Sponsored by the Captain Kimberly Hampton Memorial Library.
Saturday, December 30th, 12:00-1:00 PM
Brunch in the Park
Werner-Boyce Salt Springs State Park
8737 US Highway 19 N.
Port Richey , FL 34668
Admission: free with park admission.

Wednesday, January 3rd, 2018, 7:00-8:00 PM
Songwriting Workshop with Hungrytown
Lakeland Public Library
100 Lake Morton Drive
Lakeland, FL  33801
Admission: free. Sponsored by the Lakeland Public Library.

Friday, January 5th, 7:00-8:30 PM
Coffee House Concerts
North Indian River County Library

1001 Sebastian Blvd.
Sebastian, FL 32958
Admission: free. Refreshments available. Sponsored by the Friends of North Indian River County Library.

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