Our Man-Bull Beast Goes to the Midwest--Be Careful! Oh Wait, I Meant Mini-Tour, Not Minotaur. Sorry.
We tour America's heartland, a.k.a. the Midwest, every year. Next week we begin an abbreviated version of our annual Into the Cornfield Tour, restricting our travels to the left ventricle, as well as parts of Pennsylvania, which doesn't count as the Midwest, though it might appear that way to some people. Though relatively short, this jaunt is significant because it will be our first named tour without the Blue Meanie (see last month's Newsdumpster), and will also make room for our longest-ever tour of the UK, which will begin in July.
There are many pros and cons of replacing the venerable Blue Meanie with our trusty burgundy Subaru. Here are a few:
Pros Still has a warranty. Better cup holders. Easier to make illegal U-turns. Easier to parallel park. Goes fast. Goes uphill. Less fear of tipping over. Six-speed manual gearbox. All-wheel drive. Functioning sound system. Doesn't use diesel fuel. Getting to stay in nice hotels and B&Bs. Getting to savor our nation's rest stops.
Cons No toilet. No kitchen. No bed. No more secret changing/antisocial room. Harder to hide all of our gear. Doesn't use diesel fuel. Getting to stay in crappy hotels and B&Bs. Easy to leave things behind in hotels and B&Bs. No more bragging rights about our solar panels on the roof. No more God-like visibility of traffic ahead.
We managed to make some progress on our 2019 Home Turf photo album, if you care to join us in photoland.
Child: Look what I found! The Blue Meanie for sale ad! Let's buy it! Parent: That's the last thing we need, child. Plus, it probably smells. Child: It looks nice. And stop calling me a child. I'm a full-grown adult. Full-Grown Adult: I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to my mother. Parent: I'm your father. Child: No, you're not! Parent: I was supposed to mention hungrytown.net and facebook.com/hungrytown--how am I going to explain this? Penguin: Explain this to whom? Parent: Get lost, Penguin. Come back in the next Newsdumpster.
PLEASE SEE OUR CONCERT CALENDAR FOR THE NEXT FIVE WEEKS BELOW. VISIT OUR ONLINE CALENDAR FOR MORE COMPLETE AND UPDATED INFORMATION.
Jun. 06 Vergennes, VT @ Bixby Memorial Free Library